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Today, I find myself overwhelmed with anger—a deep, all-consuming emotion that threatens to spiral into rage. Yes, even I experience these intense feelings. It’s as if everything around me is in my way, and I want to tear it all down. This anger is not just a fleeting annoyance; it feels monumental. As I continue on this path of building my business as a solopreneur, I am struck by how challenging, overwhelming, and frustrating it can be. Today, that frustration has taken the shape of rage.
But what do we do when anger takes hold? Should we suppress it, unleash it, or use it as a tool for growth? Today, I’m here to explore anger—not to judge it but to understand it. We’ll explore where it comes from, how it affects us, and most importantly, how we can harness it for our growth and purpose.
Understanding Anger: Where Does It Come From?
Anger is often triggered by frustration, feelings of helplessness, or unmet expectations. Whether it’s personal disappointments, work-related stress, or deeper unresolved issues from our past, anger often signals that something is not right.
In my case, the root of today’s anger is the constant overwhelm of trying to build something meaningful while navigating the pressures of doing it all alone. On a deeper level, I recognize that my anger stems from a place of fear and uncertainty. I’m afraid that what I’m doing might not lead to the outcome I hope for. This fear manifests as anger because anger, in many ways, feels more powerful than fear.
But beneath the surface, anger isn’t just about external circumstances. It's a signal that our inner peace is disrupted.
Is Anger Always Negative?
Many of us are taught to view anger as a "bad" emotion, something to be suppressed or hidden. However, anger, like all emotions, has a purpose. It can be a catalyst for change, a signal that we need to set boundaries, or a response to injustice.
Scriptural Reference:
Ephesians 4:26: “In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry.”
This scripture acknowledges the reality of anger but encourages us to handle it constructively. It’s okay to be angry, but what matters is how we respond.
What Happens When We Suppress Anger?
Suppressing anger can lead to a host of emotional and physical problems. Research shows that unresolved anger can contribute to issues like depression, anxiety, high blood pressure, and even heart disease. Anger that isn’t acknowledged or processed tends to manifest in other ways—whether through irritability, passive-aggressiveness, or internalized stress.
Practical Tip #1: Acknowledge the Emotion The first step in dealing with anger is acknowledging that it’s there. It’s important to pause and recognize that you’re feeling angry without judgment. I didn’t stop my anger when it first started building, but when I finally acknowledged it, I found a moment of clarity.
Harnessing Anger for Growth: Turning the Tide
So, what do you do when anger has already taken over? Do you lash out, stay silent, or search for distractions? As tempting as it is to react impulsively or numb the feelings with food or another quick release, there’s a better way.
Here’s what I’ve learned: anger can be harnessed for productivity and growth. Instead of letting anger control me, I decided to channel it. My anger became fuel to push through obstacles, set boundaries, and stay focused on my goals. This shift didn’t happen immediately—it took mindfulness, deep breathing, and a decision to confront the emotion head-on.
Research Findings: A study by the American Psychological Association found that channeling anger productively, rather than suppressing or acting out on it, leads to improved problem-solving and goal-setting. This supports the idea that anger, when managed well, can be a tool for growth.
Practical Tip #2: Channel the Energy When anger arises, ask yourself, "How can I use this energy?" Instead of reacting impulsively, redirect your anger toward completing a task, achieving a goal, or working through a challenge. In moments of frustration, this shift in perspective can turn a destructive emotion into a productive one.
Mindful Practices to Handle Anger
While anger can be productive, it’s essential to manage it healthily. Here are some techniques I use when I find myself at the brink of rage:
Breathe: Deep breathing is one of the quickest ways to calm your nervous system. It helps bring you back to the present moment.
Pause and Reflect: Before reacting, take a moment to reflect on the root cause of your anger. Is it frustration, fear, or something deeper? Understanding the source helps you respond more mindfully.
Talk It Out: Find someone you trust to talk through your anger. Sometimes, voicing your frustrations can provide relief. Just make sure that the person is helpful, someone who listens and offers support without escalating your emotions.
Engage in Creative Expression: For creatives, one of the best ways to process anger is through creative outlets—writing, painting, or movement. Use your creative self-expression to release the tension.
Practical Tip #3: Mindfulness and Movement Engage in activities that get you out of your head and into your body. Whether it’s journaling, exercising, or meditating, mindful practices can help dissipate the intensity of your anger.
From Anger to Purpose: The Power of Reframing
The challenge isn’t just in managing anger; it’s about finding purpose in it. As I reflected on my anger, I realized it was rooted in a deeper issue: a fear of purposelessness. I had been pouring my energy into building my business, yet the uncertainty of whether it would succeed left me feeling aimless.
But here’s the thing: anger can be a signal that we’ve strayed from our purpose. It’s an opportunity to realign with our deeper goals and values. When we have a clear sense of who we are and what we’re working toward, the frustrations of life don’t knock us down as easily.
“Anger is a signal, and one worth listening to.” – Harriet Lerner
Takeaway:
Anger isn’t something to be feared or avoided—it’s a natural emotion that can be harnessed for growth and transformation. By acknowledging it, reframing it, and channeling it toward purpose, we can turn anger into a powerful tool.
Hope and Inspiration
Wherever you are in your journey, remember that your emotions don’t define you—they are part of the human experience. The next time anger arises, take it as an opportunity to reflect, redirect, and realign with your higher self. You have the power to choose how you respond. You are not alone in this struggle, and there is a higher purpose waiting for you on the other side of that rage.
“Be angry, and yet do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger.” – Ephesians 4:26
Check out this definition of anger: "Anger is an emotion characterized by antagonism toward someone or something. It can give you a way to express negative feelings or motivate you to find solutions, but excessive anger can harm your physical and mental health." apa.org , APA, 2024 For additional research on anger management, visit this helpful resource from the American Psychological Association."
Resources:
The Dance of Anger by Harriet Lerner (Book)
Headspace App for Mindfulness and Meditation
Breathe2Relax App for Breathing Exercises
By incorporating these practices and reframing how we view anger, we can transform it from a destructive force into one that fuels our purpose and strengthens our resilience. Anger is not the opposite of love—it’s a pathway to deeper understanding and, ultimately, peace.
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With Love and Respect,
Natalie Amey
Mom & Wife | #1 Bestselling Author | Founder
“My mission is to empower survivors to thrive through self-care, creative healing, and personal growth, helping you build a balanced, fulfilling life that radiates beyond expectations.”
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